Fit Fab 40

Cheryl

December 22nd, 2010

Curve Ball

I haven’t posted in almost two months, but I have a very good reason… or perhaps it’s just an excuse. But it’s a biggie.

The thing is–we took my son in for a speech therapy evaluation and came out with suspected autism. It was a punch in the stomach like I’ve never felt before. Handling bad news about myself sucks–news about jobs I didn’t get, bills I had to pay, infertility, surgery debacles–but handling bad news about my almost-two-year-old son is a blow I wasn’t prepared to take. Is anyone?

But this blog isn’t about autism. It isn’t about my son’s struggles–it’s about mine. And through this news, I think I’ve learned something rather disappointing about myself–something I need to overcome. And now is the time.

We feel strongly that my son’s condition is mild if anything, and that he’ll respond to therapy and quite possibly be off of any spectrum by the time he starts school. My concern is the word “autism.” I feel if he carries that word with him, it will be a self-fulfilling ailment: if he believes he’s supposed to struggle socially, he most certainly will. So I’ve been debating on whether we will ever tell Blue about the word that was tossed around just before he turned 2. I’m not even sure I want to obtain a formal diagnosis. If one doesn’t exist — then we wouldn’t be hiding anything from him.

How does this relate to me? I was relaying this issue to a friend last night and heard myself saying something along the lines of: “We all look for reasons why we can’t succeed. This would give him one big one. Who needs help finding excuses?”

And it hit me.

This word has already provided me with an excuse. I can’t write my book–my blog even–because my son might have autism.

In fairness — there are things that need to be done, therapies that need to be coordinated. But that doesn’t mean I can’t find time to follow my own dreams.

I heard that moms of kids with autism are often called “autism warriors.” It’s not a title I desire (though who does?). But I think it’s up to me to define myself. I can dedicate my life to this… or dedicate my life to myself (which my son is a big part of) and live the definition I choose.

I think that our blog is a bit misleading in that it talks about tackling one goal at a time. “Pick one,” I’ve said on a number of occasions. But the truth is–that’s not life. By tackling one goal at a time, the curve balls that make up life will quite possibly take over…and that’s not okay. It just has to be possible to fight the good fight on behalf of my son–and show him how I can still be the person I want to be. Isn’t that the ultimate lesson?

Stay tuned.

Comments: No Comments »

November 2nd, 2010

Then what?

I actually love the idea of starting fresh in a new industry. It’s sort of sexy and a great way to maximize what life has to offer. But the brainstorming is already bombarded with Yeah Butts (my mother liked to point out my habit of introducing those pesky little creatures).

These are the ideas that have floated through my wee brain regarding the THEN WHATs:

Dental Hygienist – minimal additional schooling required; decent day rates; most work as much as they choose (allowing time for family/writing)… BUT no freedom on the job.

Editor (TV/Film) – tackle storytelling from a new angle, could be lucrative, interesting to work alongside creative… BUT expensive educational requirements, long hours away from home

Graphic Designer/Website Designer – fascinated with layouts and design, a few classes could be enough to get me started, writer/designer combo could be lucrative… BUT even a freelance career means remaining part of the corporate world; constant job scrounging

Ideas? Anyone?

Comments: No Comments »

November 1st, 2010

AND/OR… or something in between?

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future.

No, really?

Yeah, yeah – kinda the whole point, right? But here’s a question I’m not sure I can answer yet: is it better to go balls-out for your big dream, making the plan, dedicating your free time, taking the risks and going for it 100 percent…

OR (how can there be an OR?)

Do you complement said dream with a backup plan?

AND (there’s an AND, too?)

Does the backup plan muddy the dream?

I know, without a doubt, that I want to be a writer—not in a big corporation making an OK living working 9-6, but achieving big things in publishing. Big enough that I can exhale a bit financially, leave the corporate world, enjoy my family and maybe, just maybe—explore a little (the world, my mind).

BUT (not the BUT)

That’s a big dream. I won’t mention the risks and the lack of control, let’s just say this: I might not make it. Most don’t. So then what?

Ahhhh—the backup plan. See where I’m going?

I wish I could say I’d be happy working for another 20-30 years in the corporate world, but I can’t. I got a taste of freedom when I freelanced and I can’t seem to shake it. Now’s not the time, but someday it will be. Then what (she asks again)?

Comments: No Comments »

October 30th, 2010

Runaway Train

You know that thing that you dread the most—that task, project, race, effort or goal that has been haunting you for way too long? Ever notice that once you actually start doing it how it’s not nearly as hard as you thought it would be?

Well, if you’d actually start doing it, you’d notice.

Seriously.

Now that I’m actually making progress on my book, I’m realizing that it really isn’t that hard. I let myself off the hook and decided that the SFD was far less intimidating than writing the final version. And the final version will be far easier once I have the SFD. All I’m doing at this point is telling a story—TO ME—and there is absolutely no pressure in that. In fact, it’s kind of fun.

I found the same thing with losing the weight. One day, I ate the cookie because I thought I deserved it. The next day, I skipped it for the same reason. Suddenly, missing out on a cookie wasn’t nearly as big of a deal as I’d made it out to be. These days, breaking out the computer and doing a little (bad) writing is a piece of cake…

…so to speak.

Comments: No Comments »

October 29th, 2010

Nobody’s Perfect (not even you)

If you’re like me you get discouraged when you want to achieve something so badly, can’t seem to make it happen, yet everyone around you is doing it like it’s no big deal.

I remember when I was trying to get pregnant with baby Blue. I always knew a few days in advance when that month wasn’t THE month, because I would suddenly be faced with an unbelievable number of pregnant women, women with babies… and pregnant women with babies. (Shoot — my fertility doctor, acupuncturist and a urologist were knocked up during my darkest hours—the urologist had twins to boot).

But no matter what you’re striving for—writing a book, running a 10K, landing a job, making the team, getting your child into THE preschool—no matter how easy the next guy makes it look, keep this in mind: that guy is struggling with something too. Those women I saw month after month might’ve gotten pregnant just by looking at their men, but they might not be able to cook mac & cheese like I can.

And maybe they really, really want to… and just don’t know how to make it happen.

Comments: No Comments »

Read More Posts by Cheryl

Jenn

February 18th, 2011

Aaaahhh

The past four months have been insane. Probably the most hectic months since I moved back home 4 1/2 years ago. The vast reduction of one big client’s fee had more impact than I’m sure he could ever imagine. Both good and bad.

I ghost wrote a book, which is super cool, but was also super stressful and time consuming. I estimate that I’ve probably spent about 580 hours on it over the past four months, which would break down to me earning just a little bit more than I was making at the Gap in 1992. Stress management has been the hardest part. But, despite the tight deadlines and volume of work, I have really, really enjoyed it and am very proud that it’s almost complete.

I took on a new job, which I’ll admit has been a tough adjustment after four years of freelancing. But my family is adjusting better than expected, partly because my hubby has been really helpful with the kids, and I like the work and my coworkers.

But I have worked both days of every weekend since Christmas, and these seven-day workweeks are killing me. Sometimes I think it’s my computer that I’m married to instead of my husband.

But I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is the reason for the Aaaahhh.

The book is almost complete, so I’ll be able to go back to doing my other writing projects on my weekdays off.
A commitment we made for the kids, every Saturday for four weeks, is almost over. We leave at 10am and get home at 6pm, so it’s been exhausting. But they have loved it, and tomorrow is the last day. So next Saturday I have off!
And this week they found someone to replace me on the ministry I have managed at church for almost four years, so I won’t have to stress about buying pudding cups or recruiting volunteers anymore.

Aaaaahhh. Almost.

Even though my weekdays will continue to be hectic, life will even out a bit when my weekends are once again free to relax. Won’t that be nice?

Comments: No Comments »

February 4th, 2011

Fateful Day at FitFab40!

It’s a fateful day at Fit Fab 40. Today is my birthday, and since Cheryl’s b-day has already come, it’s time to come clean…we’re no longer 40! Ugh. That hurt. We started this blog five months before we turned 40 as a way to inspire each other to lose weight and start really reaching toward our goals. It’s been a lot of fun blogging with Cheryl, and I hope we’ve been able to inspire others along the way.

Has it worked? Here’s a little update.

Cheryl lost whatever small amount of weight she had to lose before she turned 40 and has kept it off. The last time I saw her, she looked amazing!
I lost about 7 pounds and kept it off for a while. I looked pretty darn good. But, I’m sad to say, between the holidays, vacation in Florida over Christmas and the stress of this book I’ve been writing, I gained it all back. So now, on my 41st birthday, I way exactly what I weighed before. That sucks!
Beyond weight, we still have some pretty hefty goals and dreams in life. No, we’re not there. Mostly because life gets in the way for us, as it does for most people. But the important thing is that we haven’t given up and we keep pushing forward!

So here are some goals for a glorious 41st year, in no specific order:

Reduce my “toxic burden.” No, I don’t mean my husband. (He’s awesome, by the way.) I mean the amount of toxins that we all have in our system because of chemicals in our food, water and air. I’m reading Suzanne Somers’ new book, Sexy Forever and I’m a believer! I want to start eating more organic fruit and veggies, buying grass-fed beef and organic meat, and completely eliminating any fast food and soft drinks. That will be a great start!
Lose weight. It’s a bit embarassing to even have this on here at this point. But if I can be successful at goal number one, then this goal will become a lot easier.
Declutter my home. We’re going to have a kick ass yard sale this spring, and maybe a few of them. I want to be able to look around my home and see only essential things that we actually use.
Once this book is finished, I want to spend more time writing for myself and build my Arbonne business.
Reduce my debt, which will be easier with my new job, writing and Arbonne.
Spend more time with God.
Make having a monthly date night with the hubby a top priority.

I didn’t bother making these New Year’s resolutions, because that’s pointless and would almost guarantee that I don’t do it. So instead, they’re goals for my 41st year. Wish me luck!

Comments: No Comments »

January 18th, 2011

My New Skinny Office

I think I have found the perfect place to work! My new office doesn’t have any vending machines, no delis nearby, and the closest places to grab lunch (Jimmy John’s and Subway) are a two-block walk away. I rarely have that much time for lunch, so the walk is usually out of the question. So I am left to eat what I brought with me, which is always a Lean Cuisine I grabbed on the way out the door. How cool is that?

Now you may be thinking I’m deranged to enjoy such a lack of food options, but it’s actually quite ideal. When I worked in NYC, there were delis on every block. So grabbing a brownie and Arizona Iced Tea to feed my afternoon cravings was no big deal — I could be back before my boss even realized I was gone. In Cincinnati, Skyline Chili always called my name. It was just too easy to cheat on my diet and make unhealthy choices.

But now, it’s not really an option. As long as I can keep myself from bringing bad stuff with me, I should be good. And when I do cave, at least I get a four-block walk’s worth of exercise and can choose a healthier sandwich.

And considering that the full-length mirror in the office’s ladies’ room somehow makes me look like I’ve gained 20 pounds, that’s a good thing!

Comments: No Comments »

January 13th, 2011

The Benefit of Bosses

After working from home for myself as a freelancer for 4+ years (awesome!), I’ve taken on a part-time job in my field three days a week. A huge blessing in this still-tough economy. I wasn’t quite sure what it would be like to return to an office setting and a boss — actually four bosses — after such a long time of being on my own and running the show.

So after two weeks, I have to admit that it’s actually really nice. First of all, my four bosses are pretty cool. (And yes, I think they do read this blog from time to time — hi guys!) I like all of my co-workers so far: they’re welcoming, very talented and creative. Things are progressing more quickly than I was expecting on the new business front, which rocks. And there aren’t any delis within a block of my building, which will force me to either get exercise or limit me to the Lean Cuisines that I swore I’d start eating for lunch. No more wandering downstairs to pilfer my kids’ chocolate pudding cups!

All positives.

One thing that has shown itself to be a stark contrast, which I guess I’d just forgotten, is how motivating having a boss can be. Anyone that has been their own boss knows that motivation can become an issue at times. When no one is looking over your shoulder, asking how things are going and checking up on you, it’s just too easy to relax and not push as hard. It’s not that I’d veg out on the couch and watch Oprah all day. I don’t think I even did that once while I was working from home. But it’s easy to be distracted by little things and not stay as focused as you probably should.

So that’s certainly a positive. And, at least for these past two weeks, that’s carrying over into my freelance work on the other two days. Perhaps it’s just trying to cram all of my writing into two days that’s keeping me so busy. Or maybe it’s that I’m getting into the habit of being more focused again. Maybe a combo of both. Either way, I think I’m getting about 50% more done each day than I was a few months ago, which feels good!

(more…)

Comments: No Comments »

January 7th, 2011

The Deadbeat Blogger

Yes, I know, I’ve been gone for weeks! Sorry about that. When you’re writing a blog about setting goals, getting motivated and moving your life forward but you’re not really walking the walk, it seems like a sham to write about it. But I’m back. (Deep sigh of relief.)

I’ve talked a lot about my aspirations as a writer, and one of my dreams was realized during that down period. Sort of. I wrote a book, but it was for someone else. My family can’t understand the concept of ghost writing, but in a nutshell, he tells me the gist of what he wants to say, I write it out, we go through a few revisions, and he sends me a check. It’s been an interesting project, and I dearly loved the writing portion. But I’m glad it’s almost over so I can take a breather. I have literally spent 15 hour days glued to the computer.

But going back to goals…my daughter is applying for the talented and gifted “leadership” program, and the application asked what goals she has set in life. She’s only 11, so her goals are things like performing on Broadway. Pretty nice goal, right?

After much thought, I realized she just doesn’t sit there an write out her goals. She just does it intuitively. She sees something she wants and she jumps in and goes after it. She doesn’t worry about exactly how she wants to word her goal, if that’s the right goal, what strategies she’s going to employ to get there.

I think as adults, we may be making this too complicated. If you want to be a writer, start writing and look for every opportunity you can find to get paid for it. If you want to stay home with your kids instead of working full-time, save up your money, trim some expenses and just do it. Want to retire at 50? Quit buying fancy cars and expensive clothes and invest your money instead.

I guess as humans, we’re always looking for shortcuts. And we really hate failure. So we try to devise a plan to reach our goal that will be the quickest and most efficient route. But sometimes we’re just wasting time with all of this planning.

In the immortal words of some Nike copywriter: Just Do It!